Friday, 23 November 2012

I'm crying.

I don't like writing sentimental posts, I really don't. But for once after watching a video on youtube, I'm proud to say I'm weeping, I'm weeping my eyes out at this current moment. This is to do with something that I was going to write a blog post on, and I caught also when I was reading one of Lina's blog posts. It's to do with family and friends. And it will give you an idea of my weaknesses, and vulnerabilities.

There have been countless countless times, when I have felt alone. As a child, i'm going to come out here, I was not the most " popular " person at school. I'd make friends but lose them almost straight away just because they didn't like me. I was always alone. And then I made friends, suddenly I was popular, people were inviting me to their parties, I was at discos, I had two of the best friends I could imagine and then suddenly, I was whisked away to Singapore. A fresh new start.

In Singapore, when I joined UWC, the same thing that happened to me in the early years in London, happened to me again, I had friends, but none of them liked me, they just didn't want to insult my feelings but sooner or later, people told me what people actually thought about me, and I found myself in the same depressed and horrible state I was in my early years in London. But sticking with the people who liked me, and trying to remain positive really helped, it did. And sooner or later I found a group of friends, who accepted me and loved me, and I have matured and changed and I am now back in a happy state with friends, and various groups I love to be with. But, sometimes I look at how fortunate I am, and I take a step back, as not to tempt fate to do what it has done to me so many times before, set me up for disappointment. Sometimes, I retract into a shell, that I only allow my friends who I know will not ditch me, in. Just because I think it's too good to be true.

But during this entire process, who has been with me? I am in a family of three, we are really closely knit, it's just me and my mum and dad and being an only child, I have a lot of attention showered over me. And my mum and dad always worry about me, they "nag" me to work, they "nag" me to keep my room clean, and these things are annoying but they really, really are for our own good. And they love us. My mum and dad have been for me countless times when I have needed them too, they have helped me with bullying issues, teacher issues and work issues. And it dawned on me that parents are an integral part of our life but we never shower love and attention over them like we do on our friends.

This brings me to the main part of this blog post. The video.

My point is, I've been friendless, I've been hated, but I've never  been alone, because of my parents. Shower love and attention on them like you do to your friends. Think of them more. If there is a party going on, with all your friends, or a quiet dinner with your family, think about having dinner with your family and enjoying their company.

Friends will not be with us forever, but our family always will.

Thank you for reading.

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